Hold You Close Again
by em.cxcvii
Summary: "Talk about what?" Paige took a sharp breath. "He's not coming back, baby." "What?" "Walter's not coming back anymore."
1. Roof Exchange

**Title: Hold You Close Again**

 **Chapter Title: Roof Exchange**

 **Summary:** "Talk about what?" Paige took a sharp breath. "He's not coming back, baby." "What?" "Walter's not coming back anymore."

 **Setting:** A year after 3x03

 **DISCLAIMER: All rights go to CBS and relevant parties, as I do not own Scorpion.**

 **Author's Note:** Happy Scorpion Tuesday for me! (yay for time differences) Sorry about the MIA. Life happens and I have a major lack of inspiration. I'm now finally able to whip up something, so please enjoy!

* * *

 **Warning: This story chapter contains descriptions of attempted suicide. Reader's discretion is advised.**

* * *

Present Day

The weight of what happened a week ago was haunting her in her sleep, and eating her up in the day. She felt so heavily burdened with just way too many things happening in her life. The first few days after the incident, she couldn't help but blame herself immensely for what happened. It was her fault she said those hurtful things to him. It was also her fault that she withheld some important information from him. She just didn't want him to worry.

But now, it looks like she's the one doing all the worrying.

How ironic, indeed.

Paige reluctantly got out of his bed in the loft. She glanced to her left; he still was not there. She had hoped that his scent left on his pillows would help her sleep at night, or maybe it would make her see the positive light at her current situation.

Apparently not.

She slid on her shoes and tossed her house slippers to the corner of the room. She could care less now about being neat. She then got dressed, put on her coat and ascended the stairs as quickly as she could. Once she reached the roof, the cold air that blew at her shot her awake. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to come up here in January. She decided to follow through with her original idea, which honestly, worked a lot better when she was just thinking about it in her head.

She approached the parapet slowly and took a little peek at the ground below. _Woah. That's high,_ she thought to herself. Anyway, there was little harm done to try what she wanted. There was nothing good left in her life anymore.

Not since he left.

She placed a foot on the top of the parapet and hoisted herself up onto it, resting in a squatting position to hold her balance. The breeze was strong and chilly, making her hair fly in front of her face, partially blocking her vision. It was advantageous though. That way, she couldn't see how far it was to the bottom.

She stayed in that position for a few minutes, before extending herself vertically. As she did so, she stretched her arms and widened the gap between her feet to keep a good balance.

She didn't want to fall off just yet.

The wind blew again and this time, she boldly took a small step forward on the parapet. It was only about a foot in width, so by the time she took her step, her toes were hanging out a couple of inches in the air. She leant forward slightly and felt the thrill and excitement of being so high shoot through her.

She stretched her arms out fully now and tilted her head back, letting the winter breeze blow away all her burdens.

 **-SCORPION-**

"Mom? Where in the world are you?" Ralph called out frantically from the lower levels of the garage. He was running late for school and needed his mother to drive him through the horrible morning LA traffic. It was still early and the rest of the team weren't in yet. However, for the past month or two, Paige and him were staying in Walter's home overnight more frequently. He couldn't complain though. He enjoyed his mentor's company.

When he was still here, at least.

He rapidly ascended the stairs to the loft, hollering out as loud as he could. "Mom! We got to go! There's a science debate in the morning and I need -"

It was when he saw the house slippers tossed carelessly in the corner of the loft and the empty coat hanger that it finally dawned upon him where his mother went. Grabbing a jacket from his own closet, he dashed up the stairs to the roof, desperately hoping what he thought was going to happen wasn't really what would play out in reality.

He was already panting hard when he reached the top. His heart stopped for a moment when he saw what he saw.

His mother was standing on the edge of the parapet, body tipping ever so slightly forward towards her impending fall.

"Mom?" He called out softly. He didn't want to startle her. He was so nervous, so scared for what's about to happen.

"Ralph." Paige responded after a beat but didn't turn to face him. "Ralph. Go away, please. I don't want you to see this."

"No. You know I won't. Get down, please. I'm begging you." His voice sounded so small from all the way up top of the roof.

Paige inhaled deeply, trying to stop the pain. "You know, don't you. That I screwed up really bad this time."

Ralph stayed silent. He had to choose his words carefully. "It's not your fault, Mom." He finally said.

Paige closed her eyes for a long moment and let the tears roll down her cheeks. "I hurt him real bad. There's no way he's going to forgive me. I HURT HIM." Paige was in sobs by the time she had finished what she wanted to say. Her vision was blurry and she felt slightly lightheaded.

She tipped forward just a little.

"Mom? Maybe if you come down, we could talk about it?" Ralph was desperate. He knew nothing in talking people out of jumping of a ledge. He knew this line might not work all the time, but he was running out of options. He couldn't just watch her.

"Talk about what?" Paige took a sharp breath. "He's not coming back, baby."

"What?"

"Walter's not coming back anymore."

 _So that's what Mom and Toby were discussing the other day. The business trip was a ruse._

His mother's sobs brought him out of his thoughts. "Mom, he will. You know he will. He just needs some time."

"It's been a week, Ralph." Paige turned to look at him, revealing her tear stained face but more importantly, the worry on her son's face broke her already broken heart. She turns back to face the road and whispers, "He's never been gone this long before."

"That doesn't mean it all ends there, Mom. We've been through so much together." Ralph took a deep breath to stop himself from breaking down. Not right now. "Think about how much he would hurt if he finds out what's you're going to do, Mom. Think about me. Think about us, as a family. We've never been happier. Please don't do anything to change that."

Paige sighed. Her son was right. But still, the guilt inside was still feeding her heart. She whispered in reply, "What if I had already done so?"

"Mom, it doesn't matter. I can't live without you. You know that. Please, get down." Ralph begged her with his puppy dog eyes. He took a few more steps closer to the parapet and stretched his arms out to help her down. She didn't budge. "Please, Mom. Do it for me."

Paige sobbed even harder and the world around her started to spin. She tried to focus her sight on one spot but her vision was blurring quickly. Finally, her legs gave way and she slipped.

And fell backwards right into Ralph's arms.

He stumbled backwards by her weight, but managed to sit the both himself and his mother down on the concrete floor. He tightened his embrace around her and she cried even harder, her whole body shaking. Ralph cradled her gently in his arms and rocked her slowly, soothing her by rubbing his hand down her back, just like how she would if he was upset.

Except that now, she was more than upset.

And Ralph knew because she whispered something that further tore his heart apart.

"I just want to hold him close again."

 **-To Be Continued...-**

 **A/N:** Hi there! Hope you enjoyed this first chapter. Do let me know your thoughts in the reviews, all are appreciated :)  
PS. the next chapter will go over what happened between Paige and Walter, so stay tuned.


	2. The Fight

**Title: Hold You Close Again**

 **Chapter Title: The Fight**

 **Summary:** "Talk about what?" Paige took a sharp breath. "He's not coming back, baby." "What?" "Walter's not coming back anymore."

 **Setting:** A year after 3x03

 **DISCLAIMER: All rights go to CBS and relevant parties, as I do not own Scorpion.**

 **Author's Note:** Thank you to all you who wrote feedback on Chapter 1! I had to revise my plot line here and there to make it less OOC in this chapter, so I hope it's still okay. Finally, here's what made Paige so unhappy in Chapter 1. Enjoy!

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One Week Ago. Friday

With Ralph away on a three day two night forestry club camp, Paige was able to get some more work done and spend some much deserved alone time with Walter. They'd been dating for the past six months, after Walter finally revealed his feelings for her and after she finally admitted that she loves him too. Things have more or less started out slowly, before their relationship started to really progress at a quicker pace. Due to their busy schedule, it was rare that they had any alone time for each other. It was a few months back that Walter claimed that it would be more 'efficient' to have Paige live in his loft. She was pretty apprehensive at first, but after much contemplation, she'd finally agreed to move her and Ralph to live with him.

She was sorting through some paperwork when she realised that she had something important she needed to address with him.

She took to the stairs and quickly walked up to the loft, finding Walter at his desk, typing away. She quietly scooted towards him and snuck up from behind.

"Boo!" She said cheerfully, placing her hands on his neck, gently messaging them.

"Hey, Love." He turned his head slightly to his left and smiled back up at her, giving her a soft kiss before returning to his work. "If you're up here doing this to try to convince me out of doing the new case, it's not going to work."

She lifted her eyebrow and tilted her head down towards him, "How did you know?"

He faced her and smiled again, staying silent.

She slapped him gently on his shoulder, giggling. "How did you know?" She asked again.

"I just do. You're quite the persistent one."

So, the new case was the one with Richard Elia. A few days ago, he came over to the garage to discuss a new case for Walter to work on. He wanted Walter to be present in his new rocket launch to space, which was happening in a couple of days. His job, according to Elia, would be to assist onboard crew members during the one day orbit around Earth. It was Elia's first manned rocket launch, not counting Walter's accident that happened slightly over a year ago. Elia gave Walter a day or two to think about it, and he would need to know by tonight if Walter would be interested. She was against Walter going on this case, mainly because it was so different from all the other cases he worked on. She had basically tried to talk him out of not doing it twice since Elia came, both conversations landed nowhere. She was hoping that this third try would be final, once and for all.

"Walter please," She began after a moment of being immersed in thought, walking over to the front of his desk so that she was now facing him. "Don't take it."

He stopped what he was doing and looked up at her from his seat. "Paige, it's safe. Don't worry."

She shook her head, "Don't take the case."

"We need the money, Paige. It pays well."

"I know, Walter." She paused to look him directly in the eye. "But it's space." Saying those words brought back memories from when he was falling out of the rocket into the ocean with no parachute or any plan. It was a miracle he even survived that fall. Ever since that day, she was certain that she would never want to go through that horror again.

"I know, but it's safe. Even Elia himself will be on board." He stood up from his seat, walked over to her and took her by both hands. "You don't have to worry about a thing."

"Walter, listen to me." She took her hands out of his. "I don't want a repeat of what happened last year, okay? We almost lost you." She took a beat, before adding, "I just don't think I can do that again."

He replied immediately, "But something great happened too."

Paige's face registered a blank look.

"Us, Paige."

"Right," She looked at him and forced a smile. She continued, "But -"

"No buts," Walter interrupted. "I promise you, nothing is going to happen."

"Nothing is certain, Walter. You can't promise that."

"Paige!" He exclaimed, slightly frustrated that she's still trying to talk him out of it. "Technology has advanced so much since my space incident. It's almost safe to say that nothing bad will happen."

"There's no guarantee, Walter." Paige sighed, before continuing. "You always say that. You always say that nothing is going happen, but something always does. Something always does, Walter."

"But we always come out fine." He smiled, but stopped when she didn't smile back. "Paige, I'm just there as an advisor. I'm helping the crew. There are plenty of new safety features on the ship. And it's only going to be a day. Before you know it, I'll be right back here."

"But what if-"

"Do you want something bad to happen? To me?" He interrupted.

"No, of course not." Paige sighed. "But, please let me finish."

He nodded.

She continued, "What if things go south, Walter? What will I tell Ralph? You know you're not supposed to do anything like this. You promised you would consider carefully before taking up new cases when we got together. Have you forgotten?"

Walter shook his head in disagreement. "No I haven't. But you need to stop saying that. You need to stop creating hypothetical situations, Paige."

She stepped away from him. "I'm creating? I've lived through too many, Walter. Every time you say, 'this case is simple. we're all going to be just fine' things happen. We get kidnapped, or someone gets hurt. You get hurt. And I'm tired, Walter. I'm tired of all of this. Could you just for once...stop taking big risks."

"But there's risk in everything!" He threw up his hands in defence.

"I just can't bear risking you again okay?!" He stumbled back slightly in response to her loud voice. "Walter, I love you, a lot. And if you take this case, and something horrible happens...I'll never forgive myself. You know that. You've been through that too many times. And it's not certain that the odds are always on our side."

He took a beat before opening his mouth again. "You do want something bad to happen, do you?"

"I just don't what to go through the pain again, okay?!"

It was now his turn to raise his voice. "Oh so now it's about you, isn't it? Did you even think about me, about what I want? You know I've always wanted to work on a case like this. Look Paige, I've never stopped you from doing what you dream of, so if you would just let me-"

"Walter!" He stopped talking. "It's about Ralph! Can't you see that? What do you think I've been telling him every time we come back from a case? I only tell him the good stuff, which isn't much anyway. He doesn't know that we've been kidnapped and drugged before, and he definitely doesn't know you fell out of a spaceship before." She paused, lowering her voice when she continued again. "Just think about him, okay? Before you make anything final."

Walter shook his head. "I'm afraid that might be too late."

"What are you talking about?" Paige was momentarily confused. It wasn't until she saw his guilty expression that it finally dawned upon her. _No, no, no._ "You took the case already, didn't you?" Her words were out before she even knew it.

He paused, before replying. "Yes."

"WALTER! I told you-" She stopped herself and lowered her voice. "I told you not to."

"It's in two days." He said it in a matter of fact voice glancing at his watch before walking past her to grab his backpack. "Now, I have to go to Elia's for a briefing about -"

"Walter O'Brien! You're not going anywhere!" She shouted, he turned and stopped to face her at the door. She took a breath and continued, "You know what, go! I don't care where you're going and what you're going to do, but just go! If you think that Scorpion is really more important, that money is more important than anything else, GO!"

He just stared at her. She didn't really mean it, right?

"GO!" She shouted for one last time. Tears had already streamed down her face and she was visibly upset. He couldn't tell if those tears were because she was sad, or because she was furious. Probably both, he thought.

He walked out of the loft, not looking back until he heard her say something he wished he hadn't heard.

"While you're at it, don't come back."

 **-To Be Continued...-**


	3. Wrecked Waige

**Title: Hold You Close Again**

 **Chapter Title: Wrecked Waige**

 **Summary:** "Talk about what?" Paige took a sharp breath. "He's not coming back, baby." "What?" "Walter's not coming back anymore."

 **Setting:** A year after 3x03

 **DISCLAIMER: All rights go to CBS and relevant parties, as I do not own Scorpion.**

 **A/N:** Here you go, part 3! Thank you so much for waiting patiently. (If you're a follower of this story, or any of my stories, please read the long author's note at the end. Thank you.)

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Friday Night

Paige spent the night staring at the main door of the garage, hoping and praying that he would come through it.

But there was no such thing.

She spent the next few quiet hours lying alone on the red couch, eyelids drooping with every passing minute. However, the tiniest creek of the door would send her right into a seated position, staring wide-eyed at the front door. When she concluded that the sound was a false alarm, she would lie back down, pick up her phone from the coffee table and check her messages, her emails - anything.

Anything that would signal to her that maybe he didn't hear her last statement, or that he didn't take her words to heart.

Nothing.

And nothing it was for the rest of the night.

 **-SCORPION-**

He didn't actually go to the briefing at Elia's that night. Instead, he spent the majority of the night contemplating about his life at Zuma beach, a place he frequents whenever he and Paige had some sort of a rift.

The swooshing of waves right in front of him did nothing to slow the thoughts in his mind.

 _What did I do wrong? Did she have a right to be mad at me? Was I really that selfish?_

Or the golden question.

 _Should I even have left?_

Yes, Paige Dineen did chase him out of his own home and workplace. However, was that something only in the heat of the moment? Or did she really mean it?

Did she really not want him back anymore?

This wasn't the first time he got chased out of the garage by Paige. Twice in fact, both times coincidentally, because he placed Scorpion first. He couldn't lie about it, the company was his most prized possession. He valued it more than he valued his life, and it was pretty evident to Paige that she thought the same, except that in her eyes, in was unacceptable for him to think that way.

Ralph and her must always take precedence.

It wasn't that he didn't place them first this time around, but more of his idea of placing them first - assuring her that he's going to come home in one piece - was not sufficient enough.

Maybe he shouldn't have rushed to call Elia that he would take the case. Maybe he should have waited.

But the money...He needed the money. The company needed the money.

He had no choice.

Or did he?

Walter glanced at his phone for the billionth time that hour in hopes that she would call him to come home. He wasn't sure what he was going to say if he called her first. He wasn't even sure if she wanted to take his call.

He couldn't stay at the beach forever. He picked up the device from the sand and browsed through the applications quickly, scanning his contact list. He actually needed a place to crash for the night. He couldn't bring himself to return home. Who knows what Paige would do in her anger?

As he swiped through the page of contacts, he started to evaluate them in his mind, hoping that there would be one person left that he could call. Toby - he couldn't be trusted. That shrink has the biggest mouth he'd ever seen in his life. _A leaky vault_ , he thought. Next, Happy - well, Happy would most likely be at Toby's so she's out too. The next few names were Sly, Linda and Ray - all who seem to be unwilling to let a guy like him crash for a night or two. Sly would be worried about germs, Linda would probably be very, very uncomfortable and Ray...well he doesn't know where he went after all this time.

And the only person left on his contact list was Cabe.

Cabe would certainly be a person he could count on.

Without any further hesitation, he pressed the 'dial' button and waited for the phone to be picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hey Cabe, it's me, Walter."

"Hey kid. What are doing up at this hour? Everything okay?"

"Actually...not really. And I need a favour from you."

"Anything, kid."

"Can I crash at your place tonight? I had a fight with Paige and..."

"Sure, son. I'll see you in 15?"

"Yea. I'll be there shortly."

 **-SCORPION-**

Saturday - Two days after the fight

"Good morning, kid." Cabe greeted when he saw Walter in his kitchen getting a cup of coffee.

"Morning," he replied, taking a sip of the hot drink.

"How's the couch?"

"Probably better than whatever would have greeted me if I went home," Walter joked, faking a smile at Cabe.

Cabe cleared his throat. "Do you...maybe want to talk about what happened?"

Walter sighed and sank into the nearest chair. "I guess. I would have a more conclusive evaluation if I had a second opinion." Cabe smiled in response and spent the next few minutes listening to what happened to the genius.

...

"So...are you still going for the launch tomorrow?" Cabe asked after Walter finished recounting the events from the night before.

"I already told Elia that I would be there."

"Does Paige know you'll be there?"

"I think so, yes." Walter furrowed his brow and thought hard. He did say that he was still going to work on the case. "Even if I didn't say the exact words 'I am going', it is implied..."

"You should give her a call, Walter. She has the right to know you're going to sent off into space for a day."

"No!" He shouted immediately. He paused before continuing, "No, sorry. She made it clear that she didn't want me back."

"She not wanting you back doesn't mean you shouldn't give her a call, Walter. Just think about it."

"I'm not going to call her."

"It's your call, son."

He stared at the agent a few seconds longer than usual.

"Pun intended," He eventually said.

 **-SCORPION-**

Sunday - Three days after the fight

The last three days without Walter felt like a century. Paige has seriously never felt time passed as slow as what she experienced. To make things worse, Ralph was away on camp. She was grateful that Ralph would finally come home tonight, but she wasn't as excited as she supposed to be. Someone was still missing in action and it didn't sit well with her.

She had tried calling him about a hundred times since he left that night, but every time her call got sent to voicemail. She hasn't left him a message though. She didn't know what to say to him, and to her, a call would be so much easier. He would pick up, hearing his voice would perk herself up and they would forget about what happened between them like every time and he would come home.

But it's about time she leaves her first message for him.

"Hello Walter, it's me...Paige," she began, thinking hard before continuing. "About the other day, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I chased you out like that. I shouldn't have. I know how important Scorpion is to you, and how Elia is a respected client of ours. I should have just talk it out with you instead of shouting at you like that." Her voice broke, "I'm really sorry, Walter." She inhaled deeply, calming herself. "Ralph...He's coming home from camp in a few minutes. I'm not sure what to tell him if he asks about you - which I'm sure he would." Paige paused a little, unsure of how to continue. "I love you, Walter. Please come back soon, okay?"

Right as she ended the message, the door opened and her heart jumped. Her face was ready to widen into a smile and she was even more ready to jump of the couch and embrace him in a hug when she realises...

Ralph.

"Hi Mom!"

She slumps back unto her couch - she can call it that now because she's been living on it for the past two nights - faking a smile for her son. Inside her, she was crushed into a million pieces again.

"Hey Ralph," She tried her best not to show her visible disappointment at her son's arrival. "How was camp?"

"Great," He replied as he dumped his bag on the floor and walked briskly towards her. He noticed her dishevelled appearance - dark circles under her eyes and frizzy hair - but chose not to comment. She stood up from her couch and gave him a hug.

"I'm glad you're back, Ralphie." She rubbed his hair, although thinking about somebody else.

Ralph wiggled out of his mother's arms and glanced around. The garage was too empty.

"Mom? Where's Walter?"

Paige stopped for a second. She couldn't bear telling him that she kicked him out of his own home. Sighing ever so quietly, she resorted to telling him the half-truth.

"He's on a business trip."

"Where to?"

Space, she thought. Shit. It's today isn't it?

"New York," She lied, quickly gathering her things into a purse.

"Why didn't you tell me about this?" Ralph asked but didn't notice that his mother was preparing to leave.

"Last minute job," She whipped up quickly. "You know how it works."

"Okay." He then saw that she got her purse in her hand. "Where are you going, Mom?"

"I got to run an errand, okay baby?" She kissed him on the forehead. "I'll be right back."

 **-SCORPION-**

It's Sunday morning and Walter woke up bright and early and left Cabe's place for the space station that Richard Elia told him to go to. He had been crashing at Cabe's for the past two days, mainly to avoid Paige and because he also wanted to spend time with his father figure. He never actually called Paige after that conversation yesterday because he was too busy prepping for the case today.

"Morning, Walter. I'm glad you're able to make it," Richard Elia said as he greeted Walter with a handshake.

"I'm happy to help," He replied. "So now, you said that the launch was going to be in 2 hours right?"

"Yes, that's correct." He was walking the both of them towards their ship. "The journey in space will take approximately 23 hours and 20 minutes, so about a day. We're heading out to test the rocket, so no crazy things like flying out without parachutes."

Walter chuckled at the reference.

"Okay, as I was saying, safety features on this ship is at its optimum." Richard continued, "There are 4 other crew member besides us two, so it's a 6 member ship compared to a one man ship last year. There are eight parachutes on hand and plenty of extra food, water and oxygen should there be a need to extend our test trip."

"So it's all set?"

"All set, Mr O'Brien." He walked up the steps in front of him and stretched out his hands. "And here we are, our home for the next day."

"Cool," Walter said as he took a look at it's interior.

"Now, we'll introduce you to the crew and get you set in your seat before lift off. Now I assume Paige would be coming here later to see you off?"

Walter opened his mouth to contest but decided it would be best not to.

"You can call her to ask her to report and sign in at the control centre. She would be able to watch the launch from there."

"Okay, thank you."

 **-SCORPION-**

Her stupid red chevy was just not fast enough.

Despite her flooring her accelerator, her car and the rest of LA traffic would not let her go past 50 miles per hour. She glanced at the built in clock in her car, realising that she only had 5 minutes to reach the space station before Walter's rocket is shot into space. She still had a long way to go.

And she wasn't going to get there on time to convince him to stay.

Or to even say goodbye.

The horn from the truck behind her jolted her out of her thoughts and she sighed as she took a right turn, hoping and praying that he would possibly delay the launch to wait for her.

But after what happened a few days ago, she wasn't sure if he would actually do so.

She zoomed through the rest of the journey as quickly as possible, and she made it to the foot of the launch platform.

And right there was when the loud blaring countdown started.

"T-minus five."

Paige got out of her car and glanced around to locate the control centre - it was too far. She was never going to make it even if she ran.

"Four."

She got back into her car, but left the door open. She pressed Walter's contact on her phone and prayed that he'll pick up her call within the next few seconds.

"Three."

The heat of the rocket's engine was getting to her so she slammed the car door shut. Walter still hasn't picked up the call.

"Two."

The sudden roaring of the shuttle's engine startled her and she dropped her phone to a corner of her car.

"One."

She looked up.

The shuttle's engines roared even louder and the rocket flew up into the sky, leaving a cloud of dust.

She slammed her hand hard against the steering wheel, her screams of disappointment drowned out by the roaring engines.

 **-To Be Continued...-**

 **A/N:** Alright, this would be my last update on this story, or any story for a while. I just started school again and it's probably going to get pretty crazy in a few weeks and I don't feel right leaving you guys hanging when I disappear from this site. I'm really sorry to those who were looking forward for me to complete this story. I just don't have the time to type it all out, especially now with school going on. I promise I'll return back to writing as soon as I can but please understand that for me, school comes first. Despite declaring a mini writing hiatus, I hope to still read other's stories and keep leaving reviews if I have some down time. Thank you guys so much for understanding (and for supporting me by reading my work).


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